May 2021 Newsletter:
Spring 2021. Can you believe it? I feel like this past year has flown by and crept by all at the same time. But, here we are, emerging from what feels like a proverbial, year-long cocoon. Or at least, ready to emerge! Kind of like a flower ready to blossom, but also somewhat terrified or apprehensive of what that’ll look or feel like?
Ah, that uncomfortable middle place. That place where we find ourselves with so much stirring inside. A restlessness. A knowing that we aren’t meant to stay closed up. A desire for expansion and depth. But opening up can be terrifying! We know there’s risk there. Most of us learn time and time again that it’s safer to stay inside the lines, to keep things the way they are. Life experiences teach us that caring for, trusting, expressing, loving, and being ourselves is _____. Fill in the blank. Selfish, wrong, bad, too much, not enough, not safe.
I’ve been there. Driven by fear and stories that kept me small, in every sense. Until I reached a point where I knew I couldn’t live like that anymore...
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk It took to blossom.“ Anais Nin
Staying small was too painful. Every bit of me was crying out for my own love and attention. I know that the suppression of myself, trying to hold so much in, to push through the hard, going at it alone, and treating myself like I didn’t matter (unknowingly), contributed to my autoimmune issues. Studies continue to show the connection between suppression and physical disease, especially autoimmune.
My personal experience is one of the reasons I’m so passionate about this. It's why I believe expression is such a vital part of our well-being. I’ve thankfully been able to heal a lot of my autoimmune symptoms. It’s required me to learn a whole new way of life, one where I no longer put myself last or suppress all that’s inside.
My life and relationships and work are so much fuller and richer because of it. I honestly had no idea I had held so much inside. I didn’t know I could be worthy and lovable without proving it through total self sacrifice and suppression. I didn't know there was another way, a freer, more life giving way to live.
Did it involve a lot of scary changes? Absolutely! Was it worth it? More than I can ever express.
Life isn’t meant to be lived on auto-pilot or by shrinking or burying parts of ourselves. And it isn’t meant to be navigated alone. I had to let other people into the process. Safe people. Not everyone will encourage your growth or believe in your gifts and dreams and beauty. That’s a hard truth. But it makes room for people who will and can. People who can see and support you in your wholeness.
Because who you are is truly a gift. I mean that. Every human holds a unique expression that's a gift to the world. I hope you take the risk in blossoming.
If you’re feeling the inner knowing, the pull from your soul, asking you to come home to yourself, to reclaim those buried parts, to own and express your wholeness...
If you are craving increased connection, vibrance, vitality, & freedom…
Join me for one of my 1:1 services or for an upcoming group or gathering.
Some helpful prompts:
Does it take you away from yourself or bring you closer? Does it feel expansive or contracting?
Happy spring, friends! May you blossom in all your beauty, at your own pace. Sending you so much love.