Post from Dec. 2018 that I transferred over from my old blog that still resonates deeply with me today. It's wild looking back and seeing what was going on for me during this time, what I now know to be a journey back home to myself/waking up/healing a lifetime of wounds and survival beliefs/patterns (along with the physiological impact that had). A lifetime journey. This was the first year of it, that came with a deep longing for spaciousness. I love that I have reflections to look back on from that time.
Space. Don’t live life without it.
Who else needs some space in their lives? If I had 10 hands, I’d have them all raised. I need it. In all the areas. Thankfully my trip to Virginia last weekend provided me with just that & it started with these views. Ahh, space to breathe. There’s something about being in nature, whether it be an open field, in the woods, or climbing a mountain, that just calms my mind. It’s where I find it easiest to focus on what’s in front of me, to be present, to think, or to just be, without the usual distractions of life. Because we live in a world of constant distractions. So much fighting for our attention. The over-stimulation. Entertainment usually being the go to for “down” time.
Hello, overwhelm. Hello, anxiety.
Where’s the exit sign to a place of peace?
As I was staring out at all the open land in Virginia, I had one of those ah-ha moments. Where I finally could see the big picture of something God’s been trying to teach me for some time now. He’s been showing me in a hundred different ways that the things that I truly need in my life, including peace, are found when I allow there to be space in my life. When I choose not to fill every second of my schedule with something to do. When I choose to have moments of solitude without all the noise + busyness + distractions. When I have time to connect with myself and what truly matters to me.
It’s usually in these moments that thoughts & feelings come to the surface that we’d rather avoid. Which is why there’s a study that shows some people would choose electrical shock over being in solitude with their own thoughts. Seriously. It can be that uncomfortable. But the things we need in our lives aren’t always meant to bring us comfort or pleasure. They’re meant to help us grow & evolve, which is always worth it.
So I hope in this new year, that you decide to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. That you learn to sit with pain + grief and find healing there. That you come face to face with insecurities and realize that you’ve always been enough. That you see where you’ve been hard on yourself and decide to shower yourself with love + kindness. Then let that love + kindness flood the world. We need it. That you confront your fears and decide you were made to overcome them. That you remember your dreams and know that you are capable of making them a reality. That you see where you’re playing it small and accept that you were made for greater things. That you become aware of your limiting beliefs + self doubt and then start writing a new story for yourself. That you learn to forgive others + yourself and that you find peace there. That you become aware of the world’s expectations of you and decide to let them go. It’s a heavy weight to carry. That you find the courage to walk a path that’s right for you and not just the path you’ve been told to walk. That you discover what brings you joy and that you fill your life up with it. That you choose a fulfilling life over a full one and living over existing. That you let go of the story in your head of how your life is supposed to be and allow an even greater and truer story to unfold. And most importantly, that you allow yourself the space to get there. It takes intention and probably a lifetime but the best time to start is always today.
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